Definition:
Self-handicapping is a term used in psychology to describe the act of creating obstacles for yourself, often subconsciously, in order to avoid the potential pain of failure.
It’s essentially a self-sabotaging behavior that can manifest in various ways, from procrastinating on important tasks to engaging in negative self-talk.
Here are some of the common reasons why people engage in self-handicapping:
1- Fear of failure: The fear of failing can be incredibly powerful, and some people may resort to self-handicapping as a way to protect their self-esteem. If they set themselves up for failure, they can then blame the external factors they created for their poor performance, rather than their own abilities.
2- Perfectionism: Perfectionists often have unrealistically high standards for themselves, and they may fear that anything less than perfect is a failure. In order to avoid this perceived failure, they may self-handicap by procrastinating or setting themselves up for impossible tasks.
3- Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem may not believe in their own abilities, and they may self-handicap as a way to confirm their negative beliefs about themselves. If they fail, it simply reinforces their existing beliefs, but if they succeed, they can attribute it to luck or external factors.
4- Attention seeking: In some cases, self-handicapping may be used as a way to gain attention or sympathy from others. For example, someone who constantly complains about how busy they are or how little time they have to prepare for something may be hoping to elicit help or understanding from others.
While self-handicapping may seem like a harmless way to protect your ego, it can actually have negative consequences in the long run. It can limit your potential for success, damage your relationships, and reinforce negative beliefs about yourself.
If you think you may be engaging in self-handicapping behaviors, there are steps you can take to break the cycle. Here are a few tips:
1- Challenge your negative thoughts: When you start to engage in negative self-talk, challenge the accuracy of those thoughts. Are they based on reality, or are they simply distorted beliefs?
2- Set realistic goals: Don’t set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals. Instead, set small, achievable goals that you can build on over time.
3- Focus on progress, not perfection: It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. Don’t let the fear of imperfection hold you back from trying new things and challenging yourself.
4- Seek support: If you’re struggling to overcome self-handicapping behaviors on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can help you identify the root of your self-handicapping and develop strategies for overcoming it.
